“I spent most of my life trying to be happy and finally I learned contentment was within my grasp all along.”
“This is something no counselor ever told me- they all tried to contain my behavior and Ron helped me learn how to stop it.”
“I never realized I had taught inappropriate thinking to my children – I am thankful I now can change their lives for good.”
“I was overweight for years – I never knew I could change that with these new skills and attitudes.”
“My child was always in trouble - this is the first time I found something that has helped him.”
“I had thought about suicide and I thought there was no other choice – Ron showed me the way out.”
“This is not rocket science but it was a miracle for me –
thanks Ron for showing me how to finally live.”
Can you relate to this? Can you imagine something like this happening to you?
A person says or does something that hurts or upsets you. You continue to think ineffectively about that event. You think about it in the most negative light until it finally brings you down even becoming depressed about it. This depression builds stress in your life until you must find a way to relieve the pressure. It is at that time you decide to fall back into some escape behavior you have either experienced before or you may attempt another. This behavior is what relieves the stress whether it
is drunkenness, explosive anger, working 80 hours in a week, pornography or even eating a large chocolate cake. Once you succumb to that behavior, you feel relief but it is not long until you feel the guilt associated with the behavior. You make a decision this was the last time. You honestly do not expect to succeed and neither do those who know you. In time, someone or something will hurt you again and the process starts again. As time proceeds, this cycle takes less time to complete. This is the cycle of behavior for a pain carrier and it will destroy your life at worst and at best make you live discontented.
The secrets described in this book are not really secrets at all. They are tools often overlooked by most but absolutely necessary to obtain contentment. If you are honest with yourself you will admit to behaviors which you wish would go away. If you are honest and admit that you lie, partake in pornography, eat excessively, or any one of over 100 other escape behaviors, you will begin to see that you need help in processing emotional pain. Truthfully, nearly 98% of all people today are unable to process pain effectively. This leads one to understand that the vast majority of people are engaging in behaviors to relieve the stress brought about by unprocessed emotional pain. This book gives the reader the tools to identify escape behaviors and the tools to process them effectively. Without these tools one can expect dysfunctional marriages and families, depression, repeated failures in relationships, low self esteem, legal complications, and even daily sadness. There is hope when the needed skills and attitudes are in place. These skills and attitudes bring one to peace and contentment
What can emotional pain do?
From "Removing Emotional Pain": "Like countless others, I had absolutely no idea what unprocessed emotional pain was doing to my life. Not at any time along my fifty year pathhad I discovered these truths. If I had been asked, I would have been strongly convinced pain was not a problem with me. I was clueless! I had no way of knowing that the damage from emotional pain began in early childhood. Not one word was said all along the way. Nothing was said or taught about it all through school, college and not in any church service I ever attended. No one in the family had any understanding of potential pain damage. Like everyone else, the damage took place without anyone noticing it, including me.
I was taught that emotional damage could begin as early as in the birthing room. I believe that to be true. A baby may sense if the mother doesn’t want it or if the father is not there to bond with it. Emotional damage may have started with me very early, dad was not there, he was away at war. When he did show four years later, he traumatized me the very moment we met by knocking me down and standing over me with the angry message to never trust anyone. Mother unintentionally introduced me to alcohol that same year. I had both the pain source and the escape behavior at the tender age of four. I grew up not trusting anyone and using alcohol to numb the pain. If anyone had asked me, I would have insisted I had no problem with pain. This is not a pity party nor is it an attempt to place blame. It’s an honest attempt to allow others to learn what unprocessed pain can do by looking into what it did to me."
How emotional pain does what it does?
It’s really quite simple: pain carriers use flawed thinking to create depression that builds stress to the point of needing an escape behavior. Once the cycle of behavior reaches step three there is no stopping until the cycle is complete and the whole thing starts over again. It’s a form of madness that blends right into our addicted society, and it’s passed down from one generation to the next. It’s far passed time to stop the madness. It’s time to break the chain with the training to become healthy thinkers.
What can be done about it?
Again, from "Removing Emotional Pain" by Ron Wilkins: You can live a stress filled, depressed life, desperately in search of occasional contentment or you can live your life in true freedom of constant contentment no matter how difficult your life may be. Thanks to being trained to process emotional pain, I lived five and one-half years in prison; it was dangerous but I was content. I later worked in the fast forward, high speed world of construction as a superintendent and I was content. I faced critical surgery and I was content. And now, I am content to teach others." We hope you will take advantage of the tools provided here to stop the cycle of behaviors being passed for your previous generations to you and then from you to your children. Make the first serious step today to change your life and the life of those who follow you.